Avocado Keylime Mini Pies (Raw, Vegan)

Avocado Keylime Mini Pies (Raw, Vegan)featured

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My stove is broken and I should be more upset. It’s been 5 days, maybe 6….There is no microwave. There is no kettle. I thought of running a can of soup through the coffee maker, but it was chicken noodle and who knows which tube the pasta might venture into, down the water park chutes of machinery– however it is that appliances work.

So my neighbour Peter lent us his old toaster oven and I cooked a sweet potato for 2 hours.
I am thanking this man by giving him some raw vegan tartlets.We may as well have fun with it now. I’m going raw, you guys! THEY HAVE ME. Tell my parents I love them. Ship the cats off to the coast where there’s plenty of fresh fish–exile the carnivores! Then bugger off, I’m moussing avocados into keylime tarts, and using agave to bind a cashew crust. I’m HEALTHY now, got it? After years of avoiding health with the passion of a Baptist priest. Here are some healthy food quotes to inspire you riffraffs:

Keylime Tart

“A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. ”
James Beard

“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.”
– Jackie Mason”A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussels sprouts never do.”
— P. J. O’Rourke””The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.”
– Erma Bombeck

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
Calvin Trillin

“The word ‘aerobics’ came about when the gym instructors got together and said, ‘If we’re going to charge an hour, we can’t call it jumping up and down'”.
– Rita Rudner

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.”
Erma Bombeck

“You can’t just eat good food. You’ve got to talk about it too. And you’ve got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.”
Kurt Vonnegut, Jailbird

Raw Vegan Cashew Crust 

2 Cups Raw Cashews
1 Cup Unsweetened Shredded Coconut
1/2 Cup Pitted Dates
2 Tsp Vanilla Extract
1 Tbsp Lime Zest
2 Tbsp Lime Juice
Dash of Salt
2 Tbsp Agave (or maple syrup)

Avocado Keylime Mousse

4 Large Ripe Avocados (scooped out)
1/2 Cup Lime Juice
2 Tablespoons Cup Lime Zest (You’ll need about 6 limes for this recipe)
1/3 Cup Agave (or maple syrup, add more if desired)
2 Tsp Vanilla Extract
Dash of Salt

Put all ingredients of the crust in a food processor and pulse until chopped roughly – not quite into a paste. Scoop crust into a muffin tin and press into tart shapes, distributing the crust evenly. Place in the refrigerator in the meantime.
Put ingredients of the avocado keylime mousse into a mixer, blender or food processor and run it for at least 5 minutes until combined and airy. Scoop a dollop of mousse into the tart shells and refrigerate again, for around 2 hours. (I only waited like, a half hour though and it was firm enough). Enjoy!


About the author


Here you will find food stories about the recipes I tackle in my kitchen. I promise to always be experimental. There may be food flops and poetic blunders. It’ll be reverse logic - good food that looks bad, bad food that looks amaaaazing, a solid try, a lazy attempt, a ton of stuff and little bits of nothing.

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