Muffin Malapropism

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A fool and his muffin are easily parted.

Berry Burst Muffin

During the week, I assume most people try to pretend like they’re healthy. You gotta make a smoothie in the morning or buy a veggie cup for lunch. Throw some almonds in a Ziploc that’ll sink to the bottom of your bag. At least they’re there–untouched and virginal but exuding potential.
BerriesBatter BeginningsThere’s a fruit stand near our subway station that’s open later than the grocery store. So I left class last night and picked up some berries. They had deals on blackberries, blueberries and raspberries. I don’t think I’ve ever bought more perfect raspberries in all my life. They were all unbroken, intact little red cones. Really beautiful.

So here is a Berry-Burst Muffin and …yes, there is sugar. But otherwise it’s pretty healthy, and if not, well, I put flaxseed in there so that’s like, the holy water of food. Just sprinkle it in and SHAZAM, you are absolved!
Muffin BatterBatterNow start thinking about how delicious and gooey the raspberries, blackberries and blueberries get when they’re baked. Total syrupy morning bliss. The recipe is from the King Arthur Flour website, and the only thing I include is orange zest instead of cinnamon.

The orange zest will make your house smell like what I imagine the sheep Martha Stewart counts before bed smell like: a serene meditation of nature. Fresh fields. Invigorating innocence wandering in the air and wafting past your nostrils.
Golden Muffins

Behold, a delectable nectar of health.


About the author


Here you will find food stories about the recipes I tackle in my kitchen. I promise to always be experimental. There may be food flops and poetic blunders. It’ll be reverse logic - good food that looks bad, bad food that looks amaaaazing, a solid try, a lazy attempt, a ton of stuff and little bits of nothing.

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