Falafel Fourteneer

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A falafel of beans? I know what it means: toot parade–
chickpeas in tow, let everyone know, that dinner is made!

Bean falafel, mango ginger tabouli and squash hummus

So I had too many beans in the house.
I don’t know how this happens, it’s like I convince myself at the grocery store that it’s always best to cook whole grains instead of eating them from a can.

All that can juice the poor lentils stew in, pruney-skinned like children forgotten in a public pool.
But then I realize that beans take like, 3 hours to friggin’ cook. And that chickpeas upon being boiled create this foam that crusts at the lip of the pot? Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Boiling chick peas is like taking a steam shower with a rabid dog, just….dubious smelling vapour.

Anywho beans. I had too many.
I thought and thought real hard about what to do and decided on a …bean falafel!
Bean MixFalafel

Bean mash seasoned with garlic, spring onions and cumin.

So I mashed my beans, balled them up with bits of garlic, onion, spring onion and cumin. Those brown babies were looking great.

I plopped one onto the hot oil, and next thing you know it had vanished. Just scattered and  disappeared. Fried into oblivion. I needed a plan B. Frying was not the way to go.

The flavours in this meal are pretty darn good. There is nothing simpler than this twist on a tabouli salad. It’s just bulgur wheat, tomato, mangoes, ginger and parsley. A bit of lemon juice and salt. The End.
I used the leftovers of that squash I roasted last week to make hummus! Genius. I’m gonna start throwing all kinds of stuff in with chickpeas for a Hummus Collection coming out Spring 2014, by the way.
The dreaded bean falafel. Once I decided baking it was better than frying it, it did become crunchy. I get what the problem is: it should not be composed entirely of mashed beans. They are too mushy, volatile…

But I thought, if you just made it mostly out of bulgur wheat or put some flour in it, or even quinoa or something? Perhaps this meal can be improved.
SaladFalafel Fourteneer And you know, after we ate, Jamie asked me where I got this recipe. I just pointed right into the middle of my forehead and he told me it was impossible that I came up with it myself. So there. It couldn’t have been half bad after all.

Oh, if you eat this and feel gassy, please start using the expression Fart Party, or “Farty” when lying around the house. It’s the only appropriate response when people ask you what you are up to.


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About the author


Here you will find food stories about the recipes I tackle in my kitchen. I promise to always be experimental. There may be food flops and poetic blunders. It’ll be reverse logic - good food that looks bad, bad food that looks amaaaazing, a solid try, a lazy attempt, a ton of stuff and little bits of nothing.

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